Monday, September 30, 2013
My Agoraphobic Pregnancy
Well I am glad to say I finally stopped throwing up, but sad to say that the pregnancy hormones have not only worsened my anxiety/agoraphobia but I have also been fighting what feels like a whole new mental illness. I really don't know what it is. I can best describe it as horrendous intrusive thoughts and nonstop panic attacks. I am not functional anymore. I can not even get in the car without major problems. When I started writing this blog I had gotten much better and was focused on traveling but now I have been knocked to the bottom floor or actually the basement as far as my progress is concerned. I wish I had something my cheerful to write about but this blog is me and the truth is I'm struggling.
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Hi! I just read your post and I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time right now. I know exactly how you feel, because at my worse I also couldn't leave my house (or sometimes even my bedroom) without major panic and anxiety. I still have a long way to go, but I know that with these anxiety disorders, the road to recovery is going to rocky. There are going to be setbacks, and with major life changes (like your pregnancy) this is expected.
ReplyDeleteKeep on trying everyday to just put one foot in front of the other, no matter how terrible you feel. Set small manageable goals for yourself each day and try to focus on the positives. I know it's hard not to feel guilty as a mother, but your love is the greatest gift you could give to your children. So what if right now, in this moment in time, you can't take them out? You will get back to that I promise. Just being there to listen to their stories, bake cookies, read a book to them...that is worth more than gold. Those are the memories they will treasure most.
I hope you are feeling better, and keep on blogging! Your posts are very inspirational. Take Care!
~Eva
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ReplyDeleteHello. This is my first time doing one of these post based on the topic of agoraphobia. I encourage you to keep up with your progress. I don't know how severe your agoraphobia is, but I was housebound for a good 2-3 weeks during one of my winter breaks back in 2013. The only reason why I decided to leave my house (AKA my safe zone) was to go to school. I hated it but I managed through it. I received good grades and joined as many as 5 clubs as a Senior. When I was 19, I had the opportunity to travel out of the USA to Colombia for a week. I had almost missed the opportunity had it not been for friends, family, courage, faith in God and coping skills to give me enough stimulus to let me board a 4.5 hour flight to Colombia and also to let me see their culture first hand. I am not going to lie, I was extremely scared and anxious. The classic, "what ifs..." started to play in the back of my head like a broken record. This trip was a year ago, and I sometimes have problems getting from place to place. Although this still occurs, I realize that I am not going to let this stop me! It shouldn't stop me, you or anyone who has this disorder. We will make it through this! We just have to focus one step at a time, and not be discouraged by set backs.
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